Is It More Valuable for Gay Men to Have Gay Therapists?

If you’ve decided that it’s time to seek a therapist, feel confident in making a positive choice. The next step, however, is who will be the best therapist to fit your needs?

In particular, you might be asking yourself whether it’s more valuable to have a gay therapist. After all, shouldn’t therapy be the same regardless of who is your therapist?

Not entirely — it can be incredibly valuable for a gay man to have a gay therapist.

Sure, the therapeutic processes are similar, such as when treating PTSD. It’s how various therapists implement those processes that make the difference.

Most notably, it all comes down to connection.

Starting on the Right Foot

Naturally, you likely want to start things off right when you begin therapy. The first meeting with a counselor is crucial to establish a connection between the two of you.

Having a gay therapist helps put your mind more at ease. You won’t be over-processing the interaction, wondering if your therapist is genuinely interested in helping you.

One critical issues is ensuring that your therapist takes your concerns seriously and doesn’t discount your lived experience. You’d think that would be true for any therapist, but not always.

With a gay therapist, you will know that the person you’re talking to “gets it.” This approach helps you to feel more comfortable and willing to open up about your struggles.

The Role of Shame

For so many gay men, shame plays a central role in their lives. Too long, they lived feeling ashamed about who they were. They grew up feeling different than their peers. As they entered puberty, they did their best to hide their true feelings from everyone around them, especially family.

Does this sound like you? If so, then having a gay therapist will help to understand how the role of shame has affected your life.

Everyone experiences shame at some point in their lives. This emotion has likely impacted you significantly — but that doesn’t have to be your future.

Firsthand Knowledge

Not having to “teach” or educate them about the gay experience is another reason to choose a gay therapist. The relationship between a client and therapist does involve learning, of course. A therapist will want to take the time to learn about who you are, your background, and what brings you to therapy.

However, the getting-to-know-each-other phase different from you feeling the need to educate your therapist about the gay experience. That puts a lot of pressure on you to be the teacher.

Wouldn’t it be better and a lot easier if your therapist already had that firsthand knowledge? That way, you both can move forward steadily, getting the help you need.

Trust and Understanding

When it comes down to it, therapy is all about developing a relationship based on mutual trust and understanding. For many, therapy might be the only place in their lives where they do feel understood.

Feeling validated allows you to be vulnerable and real, without repercussions. Unlike outside of therapy, your gay therapist won’t judge you for who you are or what brings you to counseling. For too many gay men, that kind of understanding has lacked in their lives. That is why working with a gay therapist can be tremendously helpful.

Many people struggle to choose a therapist — but it’s trickier when you’re a gay man. In the end, you want someone to form a healthy relationship where you feel comfortable talking about difficult things.

If you’re ready to take the next step with psychotherapy, please reach out to me today to see if we’d be a good fit. I’d be thrilled to share my expertise and support you on your journey.